in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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