i don't like sucking hair
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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