Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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