Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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