Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
