do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
