The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
