Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
