To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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