While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
