i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
