You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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