That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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