I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
