so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The power of my boobs compel you
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
