All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
