So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
