he shaved USA in his pubs
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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