Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
