You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
