I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
