We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
