If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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