I hate your face
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
