did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
