The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
