you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
