didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
