I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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