fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
