Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
