I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
