Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
