Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
