Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
