I showed him my bush... on skype.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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