its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
