just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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