you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
