We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
