Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
