come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
