If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
