i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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