you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
