No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
