We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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