You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
