Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
