I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
